The Timeless Drabbles
by Urchin of the Riding Stars
Summary: All the drabbles that you always wondered about, but were too disgusted/afeard to write! Every DP pairing on the list gets its own name-why not a fiction? Some funny, some strange, some revolting, and some sweet. No pairing too outrageous for request.
1. Boxed Phantom

Drabble One: Boxed Phantom

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><p>The Box Ghost didn't even time to shout out his customary catchphrase. With a shriek, the thermos' full on suction power was flipped to ON, and the astonished ghost was immediately zipped inside the machine.<p>

"Beeewwwwaaarrrreeee!" the middle aged, bubble-wrap assailant cried out. "For this prison cannot hold meeeeeeeeee for loooonnnnggggg! For I am the all mighty and all knowing boooooxxx-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Sam crossed her arms in disapproval as Danny cheerfully began sucking up thumbtacks from the lab floor with the Thermos, whistling slightly as he did so. Tucker seemed too focused on getting the footage on his PTA to notice.

"Dude. This movie is so going on the web-we've got over a million hits for that one we put up last Tuesday." Tucker snickered, and readjusted his hat, looking smug.

"I swear, you would have thought the Lunch Lady asked you out, man-you totally flipped your lid."

The hybrid only scowled as he at last ended the Box Ghost's torment, sealing the thermos with an electric green and silver cap.

"I didn't freak out! He was just being a creeper-like that time he gave Sam a ring to turn her finger green. Really terrifying."

Sam raised an eyebrow as the Box Ghost began laughing maniacally from inside his tiny confines-and start squawking when Danny abruptly started shaking it the thermos as if preparing a martini.

"If he annoys you so much, why not just KEEP him in the thermos for awhile?" she suggested, as Danny carefully tucked away the equipment on the shelf. "Everytime you throw him in the Ghost Zone, he comes right back. He's worse then Cujo."

Weary, Danny let his shoulders rise and fall.

"Yeah, but if I keep him in there, I can't use the thermos for anything else. And all the Box Ghost does is attempt to haunt me with stories about a man who fell asleep during the Night Shift at the Box Factory, and was accidentally shipped off to Nigeria. Or something."

"If it's FedEx mail, that WOULD be pretty terrifying," Tucker commented, as the Box Ghost started singing, "100 boxes of manufactured postenvironmental packing material on the wall...100 boxes of manufactured postenvironmental packing material..."

Tucker leaned against the wall, still grinning.

"But don't change the subject. I thought I'd split my sides laughing when he came out at Danny through the wall at school last week. I mean, who would have guessed that's why he's been stalking you all this time?"

The Box Ghost stopped singing enough to smugly comment, "Yes, I stupefied you all with unimaginable, unspeakable horror!"

He was duly ignored. Tucker went on:

"And Thhhheeennnnn, he shouts out that you're 'forever doomed to be the Box Ghost's Valentine,' and throws you a box of chocolate!" The African American wiped tears from his eyes at the memory, chuckling at the grim looks on Sam and Danny's faces. "Dude, I was surprised that he came out of the Ghost Zone so early again after you were finished with him...I'd thought he'd lost a kidney."

"Twwwwwwoooooo to be eeeeexxxxxacccccccct, but luckily, IIIIIIIIIII, the boooooooxxxxx ghost have the heeaallllliiinnngggg powers ooooofffff Sccccoooootttccchhhh Taaaaaappppppeeeeee!"

Danny only colored, groaned, and buried his face in his hands.

Later that night, when Danny went to bed, he plopped his head on the pillow, and was promptly surprised that something hard was waiting beneath it. He tugged it the appendage out...

...what a surprise. A box.

Rolling his eyes, wondering if giving the Box Ghost two black eyes were worth the effort or not, he opened it, finding in it more bubble wrap, an extensive amount of chocolate, and a card. Bemused,

Danny picked it up, absentmindedly munching on a French Truffle.

_'You cannot escape the ongoing destruction that it the Almighty Box Ghost! I will reap your health and soil your arteries by providing you chocolate that will rot your teeth from the inside out and make you feel invariably obliged to consume more! Which I will get! Somehow! Not because I like you! Because clearly, I don't! At all! The almighty Box Ghost shall have his-'_

And then, it appeared that the Box Ghost had run out of room. Shaking his head, Danny only chuckled lightly.

"Huh," was all he said, before hopping up, leaving for his sister's room to offer her a piece, smiling slightly, in spite of himself.


	2. Phantom Princess

Drabble Two: Phantom Princess

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><p>This was wrong, this was wrong, this was so wrong, this was petrifying, this was ghastly, this was some terrible, terrible nightmare.<br>Danny was running out adjectives in his Webster's Travel Dictionary to describe just how HORRIBLE the situation truly was. He scowled as the patient female maid tucked a comb behind his hair, reconsidered, and then, fussily withdrew it out for something even worse: A flower.

Wouldn't someone just kill him now, and be done with it?  
>Sullen, Danny tugged at the collar around his neck, looking pleadingly at Dorathea as she carefully readjusted his crown.<p>

At last he knew that the Casper High Beauty Pageant had been all but a sham. The Dark Prince Aragon had only ever been looking for a human bride to impress his fellow court men by having a novelty; by showing off (slightly) metaphorical peacock feathers to prove that no rules held the Master of the Dark Ages.

...of course, that had been BEFORE, as the King's sister had told him, the King had learned that one of his Knights had fallen for a young human girl, and had majestically carried her off on his stead to live 'happily ever after' with her somewhere in New Jersey. Aragon had been enraged-and switched his plans entirely and immediately when his scouts had told him of a young boy judging the competition-the silver haired phantom/human hybrid Danny Phantom masquerading as a normal teenager.

Of course. No one would ever, ever have a hybrid for a wife! Only three were currently in existence, only was a girl, anyway-and Danny Phantom was already notorious throughout the Ghost Zone as both hero and villain to all the ghosts for his defeat of Pariah Dark...and constant, irritating interference.

The emerald-jewel studded crown had all but been slammed on his head.  
>And an enormous, wraith like hand had snatched the screaming boy away from the competition, dragging him deep into the depths of the Ghost Zone.<p>

Which was why Dorathea was getting him ready for the stupid ceremony that Sam and Tucker had yet to rescue him from. Which, would probably be in the nick of time. Right on the dumb altar that the guards were supposed to drag him to by swordpoint. How very authentic. Stupid anti-ecto-spectral collar.

"Dorathea, PLEASE," Danny pleaded, as a bunch of twittering, undead ghost birds helped him change into an humiliating, but somehow still flattering white ballgown.

"Don't make me do this. You wouldn't wish being wed to your creep brother on your worst enemy, would you?"

But the pale maiden only sent him a sympathetic smile.

"No...but regardless, the chapel's already been set. Just so long as you get away before tonight, after the ceremonies and reveleries die down, you have nothing to worry about."

Danny only blinked in confusion.

"Why? What happens at night?"

"HURRY UP!" shouted a guard outside the tower room, whom the female specter silenced with a glare.

Danny frowned as the skeletal birds-a macabre Disney portrayal-circled around him, surrounding him with Blood Blossom petals.

"Dorathea, I don't get it. So long as I get away once everyone goes home, and Aragon and I are alone? What happens then?"

The ghost only stared at him in astonishment, before slapping herself upside the forehead, slowly dragging her wan hand down her face.

Oh, dear. She duly hoped that Danny's rescuers wouldn't tarry. Else...

How WAS she going to explain the wedding night to him...?


End file.
